The Upside of Going Blind

by Pull Strings

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This record is about hating yourself and everyone around you. Pre-order the 12" here:

If we run out of downloads, here's a mediafire link:
mediafire (dot) com/?957i39z55bsxgn5


released October 14, 2012

Recorded, mixed, and mastered by Clinton Lisboa at the Soundbox in New Bedford, Massachusetts in March 2012.



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Pull Strings New Bedford, Massachusetts

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Track Name: Growing Up
There are no words.
Track Name: Getting Out
Aspirations never did anything for me. Your expectations pushed me back against a wall. I choked on the words I practiced for weeks on end, although they occupied my mind for months.
Thirteen months filled with wasted potential, too afraid to be alone, too afraid of your reflection. I was scared too, to look you in those piercing eyes and say you never meant shit to me.
You spent time trying to start fires, picking fights over imperfections I had all along. I spent my nights awake, remembering opportunities I missed. The sun was down, but so was I. I took myself for granted, I'm over feeling stagnant and being sick.
Those once gleaming eyes burn out and fade just like the tips of the cigarettes you've been smoking lately. Don't take this personally, but I think you're a fake, a follower of the trends, you take what's best from your friends and mold yourself into something you're not. You'll always be nothing to me.
Track Name: Perception is Everything
The panic is setting in, let it pass by me quickly. I can't do this again. Hours feel like seconds, as your shadow moves across the ceiling. I stare as it fades away, day turns to cold night. So distant in time, yet so close in my mind.
Though I'm told I'll be fine, I can't convince myself that they're right. I'll count it as wasted time, much like I'm doing now. It's been getting the best of me. Lies that are unspoken are still deceptive. And I'll admit you got me, you fucking got me. I always was too trusting, but just with you. It's all so confusing, I should be looking to greater things.
Track Name: Sleeping In
You can take another sip of that drink, you're dead anyway. Rotted black from the inside out, not a salvageable piece was found. Another broken home, empty houses lead children to ditches, you took us for granted. We stay loyal like dogs, forever and ever and ever. But you were broken from the start and you'll stay broken for ages. I'd follow you into hell, if I could. I spent my nights up tearing my voice apart, but no one ever comes. Nothing ever changes, nothing gets better. You kept me stuck here, not going anywhere anytime soon, but I'd still take a bullet for you. Take me for granted, 'cause when the alcohol catches up to you I'm sure, I won't be there for you anymore. An angry drunk, a hopeless fuck, and I'm not waiting to see that upside, that optimism not found in me. I'm still the one who's fucked up, still the one who's wrong. I'm sleeping in, I'll just sleep in.
Track Name: Transparent
Two feet tall in this forest of fucking problems. I'll probably give up a year from now. I am nothing when everything's more important to you. Don't leave me behind when you take out the trash. You'll get sick of me eventually, I'm like a goddamn cold you can't get over. Pass me by, I've found comfort in going nowhere. It's the only place that feels like home. Is this what recognition feels like? A compromising of intergrity or a life full of self-righteousness. So follow the rules: conform, compromise, and stay comfortable and you'll be fine. And remember, your opinion of yourself's only worth half as much as someone else's. I'm not waiting for life, waiting for life to catch up to me, because nothing's fucking coming. I've heard that life's too short to feel hate towards anyone, but I don't give a shit. I'll pull every fucking strand of hair out of my head, pound my fists against a wall, just to feel anything at all. Where's the fun in being numb? Where's my father when I need him to pull me up off the ground?
Track Name: Empty
I can't look at myself, my reflection makes me sick. I see nothing, I see nothing to be proud of. I'm just the fucked up product of a warm and loving home. I'm not a goddamn inspiration, I'm just a fucking mess.
"Where did we go wrong?"
"How did he end up like this?"
An attention seeker, oh so irresponsible. I'll probably end up sleeping in a ditch or dead, whichever one comes first, whichever one comes first.
I'm not a fucking martyr.
Don't put me on that pedestal.
I see myself in the worst of everyone around me. Pick out the flaws and let the birds devour the rest.
Eventually I'll apologize to myself for this.